Birth of a Blog


I blog, therefore I am

Another blog? Ho hum.

The world needs another blog like the Octomom needs more sperm.

What could I possibly say or write that 50 million other mental masturbators out there haven’t already ejaculated into the blogosphere?

Well, for one thing, I’m a professional … Writer, that is, not jerk-off. I actually get paid for my words, and have since I was about 15. I’m not going to bore you with my resume, but I’ve sold short stories and features to national magazines, humor columns to newspapers, screenplays to major Hollywood studios, teleplays and pilots to television and cable networks, copy to national ad agencies, instructional videos to corporations, and jokes to comedians. I wish I had a good one to explain why I’m doing this for free.

Everyone has their own reason for suddenly deciding their opinion needs to be heard and their blog needs to be read, even if no one is actually listening or reading.

Here’s mine: Commit to blog or be committed.

That’s right. I’m committing myself to writing this blog to keep from going insane.

And what’s driving me crazy? I mean, besides being blogged to death by all the other bloggin’ buggers out there from Betsy blogging on behalf her adorable little Shih Tzu to Bubba’s angry, incontinent grandpa hating on Obama? Well, to be honest, it’s not really them. It’s me. Not writing … Not writing what I want.

Professional writers need to vent, too. They obviously can’t always do it on the day job.

So, welcome to my night brain gig. It can often be a risky place filled with dangerous ideas (but nothing that Homeland Security would want to track me or you about, I promise). It might stir you up, or just piss you off. It might make you laugh out loud, or sigh with a secretive, shared nod or knowing bliss. It might enlighten you. It might even enlighten me. God, I hope so. We could all use some.

The one thing I will promise is that my indelicate blog on our mutual addiction to our media culture will not bore you. Because you are now a part of it; and boredom is in the mind of the beholder, or, at least, the non-Poster.

I have one simple rule: No hate. There’s enough of that on the blogosphere already. We can mock, we can parody, we can scoff, we can ridicule (including this blog), but we must avoid hate and anger. Because hate and anger are also powerful addictions, and ones that will consume and destroy you much faster than any other target you ever direct them toward. So get over them.

What’s your latest addiction? Welcome to group therapy. It starts right here. Now.

— A. Wayne Carter (2009)

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